You Lift Me Up
by Lily Anna Evans Potter
Summary: Alternate aftermath to Lowell's murder: Liv gets a little more than she bargained for when she calls Ravi for help after witnessing Blaine shoot Lowell. There may not be hope for her zombie boyfriend, but Liv finds comfort instead in her ever-helpful boss and the caring of her ex-fiancé. Major / Liv / Ravi friendship and support through a tragic night. First iZombie fic!


**You Lift Me Up**

Despite the gift of stealth the sniper's brain in her system had given her over the past few days, Liv had no idea how she managed to creep off the stranger's balcony opposite Lowell's apartment, where she had been lurking to shoot at Blaine undetected. The image of her boyfriend mouthing those three precious words with his hand pressed firmly to his heart was engrained in her memory, as deeply as the echo of the resounding gunshot seconds later. Her stupid moral compass pushing through the personality of the heartless shooter whose brain she had eaten had probably just cost Lowell his life. Trembling as she was with the terrible surge of grief and horror, Blaine was long gone by the time she made it back to her boyfriend's terrace and allowed her knees to give way as she dropped beside him.

"Lowell," she whispered, grasping the pale hand still settled over his heart after hurriedly rolling him onto his back. Since zombies didn't shed blood, the terrace floor was one of the most spotless crime scenes Liv had ever seen. But she was barely paying attention to her surroundings as she fumbled for his wrist with one hand and neck with the other, praying for the classically faint pulse. "Please…no," she moaned when she felt nothing beneath her shaking fingers. "I'm sorry." Those were the only words she could force out before her throat constricted and it became almost impossible to breathe, let alone see through the haze of her tears.

She couldn't leave him here, she decided after a few painful gulps of fresh air and thanked God briefly for her zombie mega-strength as she hoisted Lowell's dead weight over her shoulders and crept out onto the dark and mercifully deserted streets below. Late as it was, she knew her boss would probably have gone home already but she couldn't imagine going through the rest of the inevitable morgue procedures on her own. When she arrived at the morgue in record time and carefully laid Lowell's body on the examination table, she wrenched her gaze away from his bloody face and quickly dialed Ravi's cell.

"Hello?" answered his chipper British voice soon enough and Liv bit her lip, the man would never know what an eternal source of light he was to her.

"Hey Ravi, it's me," she said faintly. "I know it's late, but I…I really need your help."

"What's going on, Liv?" he asked and the cheery tone was noticeably dimmed by instant concern. "Wasn't Operation Kill Blaine going down tonight? Where are you anyway?"

"At the morgue," she replied, every word making her heart feel heavier in her chest. "I chickened out…and Lowell, he's…he was shot!"

"Shot how?" Ravi pressed apprehensively and the choked sob told him everything he needed to know. "Oh gosh, I'm so sorry, Liv. Listen, sit tight, okay? I'm on my way."

He barely heard her mumbled word of thanks before ending the call and rushing out into the living room. When he had pulled on his jacket, Ravi's gaze landed on Major's bedroom door, shut as it often had been lately. Without bothering to knock, he shoved the door open and frowned at the picture of the human brain glowing from the monitor of Major's laptop before his room-mate whipped around and slammed the computer shut. "What's going on?" he asked, as if he hadn't been caught doing anything unusual.

Ravi shook his head with a slight frown but let it slide, there were bigger issues at hand. "Liv just called from the morgue," he explained. "Her boyfriend was shot earlier tonight. It sounded like she could really use a friend…or two," he finished pointedly as Major stared at him in disbelief. "I'm headed over there now, do you wanna come along?"

"Yeah, uh, of course," the sandy-haired man stammered quickly; "Let's go!"

When the two men arrived at the medical examiner's office, the place was in complete darkness. They hurried down the steps to the vast examination room and spotted Liv leaning over the steel table holding the corpse. Ravi flicked on the light and Liv spun around with a start, quickly wiping the tears from her eyes. "Hi," she said thickly as her boss crossed the room in quick strides. "Thanks for…oh!" she gasped, breaking off mid-sentence when she saw her ex-fiancé hovering awkwardly on the steps with a sympathetic smile on his still heavily bruised face.

"That was thanks for coming, yes?" Ravi asked, snapping her out of the dazed shock at the sight of Major. "I've got your six too, Liv Moore." His tight hug allowed her to stare over his shoulder at Major for a moment. The distance between them was palpably more than just the physical length of the room and Liv's pale fingers curled desperately around the edge of the table behind her to keep the added heart-ache from sending her sinking to the floor.

"Yeah," she choked, the simple word catching in her throat. "Thanks Ravi…I couldn't do this one, not on Lowell, I just…ugh, I'm sorry."

"It's okay, I've got this," he told her, gripping her firmly by the shoulders as if he had sensed the imminent collapse. "Just go sit down or something, alright? Everything's under control now."

He gave her a little nudge towards the desk where she worked during the day, then bent over Lowell's motionless body and got to work. Immersed in examining the gunshot wounds on her boyfriend, Ravi was blissfully unaware of the awkward situation he had pushed Liv into. Major had taken a seat on her swivel chair and scrambled quickly to his feet as she approached. Even through the cuts and bruises all over his face, his dark blue eyes shone with the compassion that had stolen her heart eight long years ago. "I'm so sorry, Liv," he said softly. "This blows…uh, it seemed like he made you really happy."

"Mm-hmm," Liv mumbled simply with a jerky nod, it was getting harder to speak around the lump in her throat with every passing minute. "He did."

"You want to sit?" he asked awkwardly, one hand raking through his sandy hair while he gestured at the vacated chair behind him with the other.

"Would you sit first?" she asked in a small voice and internally cursed the wavering desperation in her tone. "I hope this isn't weird, I just…really need a hug."

"Totally not weird," he said, sitting down on the creaky swivel chair again. Then he patted his knees and tugged her closer to him; "Highs and lows, right?"

"Huh?" Liv mumbled, sinking onto his lap in relief and relishing the familiar comfort of his embrace. "What does that mean?"

"When you stitched me up after the first run-in with that Julien Dupont guy," Major reminded her. "I told you I was your buddy forever, eager to share the highs and lows of your life, remember?"

"Oh yeah," she said absently, intent on absorbing the calming effect of his hands stroking up and down her arms. "This would definitely qualify as a low point."

"I can imagine, it's…ouch," he began, trailing off with a hiss of pain when she squeezed his fingers gratefully.

"What's wrong?" Liv frowned in concern, twisting around on his lap just in time to catch the contorted grimace.

"It's nothing," he said quickly but Liv lifted his hand and examined it suspiciously. "Liv, I'm fine, really."

"These are new," she gasped in horror, staring at the dark purple bruises spread across his knuckles. "What the hell have you been doing, dude?"

"Don't freak out," Major begged; "I may have had another run in with the Candyman earlier this week. He threatened me with a sledgehammer…and then I kind of shot him…three times." Every detail of the harrowing tale had trickled out of his mouth painstakingly slowly, not made any easier by the way Liv's mouth was dropping wider open in horror at his every word. "Liv?" he prompted. "Would you please say something?"

"You…idiot!" she squeaked at long last, thumping him hard in the chest with her fist to compensate for the pathetic sound. She slid off his knees and spun to face him, glowering at him even as the pent-up tears broke free at last. Major jumped to his feet and grabbed her wrists to prevent further blows, leaving her squirming angrily in his grip.

"Easy girl," he urged; "I'm still here, aren't I?"

"That's not the point," she snapped, so loudly that even Ravi abandoned his work on Lowell's body to stare across the room at them. "I've told you before, Major, you're not invincible! You promised me you would let this go."

"I'm sorry?" he said warily. "I know it's stupid, I just…I feel responsible for what happened to Jerome and Eddie. That creep Julien had something to do with their deaths; I can't explain the instinct I have without sounding mental. What would you have me do?" he finished helplessly.

"Be safe," she said simply, glancing across the room at Ravi, hunched over Lowell's corpse once more. "That guy has already beaten the crap out of you once." She turned to face him with serious eyes; "Please…I don't want to lose you too, okay? I can't deal with that!"

"You can deal with anything," he said fondly and Liv sighed and let him tug her closer again.

"I'm not so sure about that right now," she said sadly, angling her head in such a way that she could hear his heartbeat pounding in her ear. It took her back to long study sessions in college, ending with the two of them a tangled mass of limbs on one of the sorority house's couches, work forgotten in the passion of the moment.

"You might not be, but I am," he said softly and she relished how warm his hand felt holding her head against his shoulder. "You're a tough one, Liv and you're gonna be okay. Who rescued my face from Ravi's stitches after all?"

"I was doing your overly handsome mug a favor, mate," Ravi protested from the other end of the room and Liv's mouth dropped open in disbelief when Major chuckled at the medical examiner's offended tone. Before the banter could lift her spirits though, Ravi spoke again; "Hey Liv, could you come over here for a minute?"

"It's okay," Major whispered reassuringly, keeping one hand pressed against her back when she stiffened at Ravi's grave tone. "You want me to come over there with you?"

"No…thanks, I've got this," Liv replied, even though her legs felt like jelly as she crossed the room to approach Ravi's sympathetic face. "It's bad, isn't it?" she said when she reached him, her voice quivering even though she was prepared for the worst.

"I'm really sorry, Liv," he sighed and the compassion sparkling in his dark eyes made her heart ache even more. "I don't have enough experience with…his kind," he trailed off after a glance across the room determined Major was watching them attentively. "It appears gunshots to the head are as fatal as ever, there was nothing I could do."

"This is all my fault," she whimpered, and Ravi wondered if it was possible for her to turn any paler considering the lack of blood pulsing through her veins these days. "I should've shot Blaine when I had the chance!"

"Liv, no," Ravi insisted, but she didn't miss the way he glanced anxiously over his shoulder to make sure Major hadn't heard her outburst. "That's not the kind of person you are, leave the psychotic murdering to Blaine." Too exhausted to cry any more, Liv glowered skeptically at him. "Did I do the right thing by bringing our resident Batman over there along by the way? It was sort of impulsive, now I'm not quite sure whether to regret it."

Liv followed his dark-eyed gaze to where Major sat drumming his fingers against the surface of her desk. "I honestly don't know," she admitted. "Now more than ever I just can't bear the thought of him getting more involved in all this undead business. He's too important to me." She turned and stared at Lowell's motionless figure on the table instead. "I really thought I'd found my chance at happiness here, you know? This is my life now, but sometimes…I feel like such a monster."

"I'm going to have to stop you right there," Ravi cut in firmly. "Olivia Moore, you're pretty much the coolest person I've ever met. There's no one else I'd rather have on my team dissecting dead bodies all day." He tapped a latex-gloved fingertip against her forehead with a fond smile. "And just for the record, the brain in there is my favorite. It shines through no matter what you eat, okay?"

"That sentence would have sounded so freaky a few months ago, what is my life?" Liv moaned, but now she was giving him a faint smile. "Thanks Ravi, for all the mess the boat party brought into my life, I'm really glad it landed me on your team, too."

Ravi wrapped his arms around her and squeezed lightly, but he was still staring across the room at Major too. "He still loves you, you know?" he said and felt Liv's tiny frame flinch in his embrace at the honesty in his voice. "I understand why you think coming clean isn't the way to go, but I do live with Major now. A guy can't help but notice the absence of other girls coming in. With a face like that there can be no other reason; he's so not over what you had."

"You realize you just called Major handsome twice today, right?" Liv pointed out, forcing a light tone to hide the dormant pain stirred by his words. "Forget me, it's almost not surprising no girls stick."

"Very funny," Ravi muttered, rolling his eyes at her. "You must be feeling better if you can mock us. I'm serious, you know. I still think lying about such a big part of your life isn't fair to him."

"I know it isn't," Liv nodded gravely and caught Major's eye across the room. "But that's how it has to be, I need him to be safe."

"I get it, Liv, I really do," Ravi began carefully, still holding on to her for good measure. "I'm just not sure I agree with your reasoning, that's all. He's on the warpath against zombies either way, not knowing the truth just makes it harder on both of you."

"That's exactly the point," she argued, hating where the conversation was going at the moment. "He's on the warpath to defend his shelter kids, what makes me any different from other zombies? At least in his eyes there won't be such a thing as a nice zombie, let's be real."

"You don't have enough faith in yourself or him if you ask me," Ravi told her bluntly. "I just want you to be happy. Both of you."

"I just watched my first boyfriend in months get shot, Ravi. Happiness is so not in the cards right now."

The defeat in her tone gave him the confidence he needed to speak his mind one last time. "You should come home with us."

"What?" Liv eyed him in disbelief, looking almost human with the red rims around her eyes.

"You heard me. I mean, Peyton's out of town, right? I don't think you should be alone tonight." Before she could argue, Ravi turned and beckoned Major over to them. "Hey, I was just telling Liv she should stay with us tonight. What do you think?"

"Yes!" Major nodded vigorously without even thinking about it and in spite of everything she had told Ravi, Liv felt a rush of affection for her ex as she leaned into his arms. "It's bad enough I'm checking into Blooming Grove right when you need a friend; let's take tonight while we can. What do you say?"

"I say that sounds really great," murmured Liv and realized that she actually meant it. The company of two guys who cared so much about her beat the hell out of lying alone in the dark on this damn sniper's PTSD-riddled brain, that was for sure. Her mind might have still been weighted down with guilt, but as she walked away from the examination table sandwiched between Ravi and Major, Liv found at least her heart feeling lighter than it had been a few hours ago. "Thanks, guys."

While Ravi drove back to their apartment, Major held Liv's hand tightly the entire drive there. The way her fingers felt interlocked with his was so achingly familiar; Liv was almost disappointed to reach the house, exhausted though she was by now. "Where do you feel like crashing?" asked Ravi, sensing the answer in the way she was clinging to Major's hand. "We both have our own rooms with big enough beds, or there's the couch."

"You can stop talking now, dude," Major laughed, draping his arm around Liv's shoulders. "I know just what she needs right now. Goodnight."

"What are you, psychic Master Lilywhite?" Liv teased him with the last of her energy. "Hold on a second." While Major slipped into his bedroom with an ill-disguised smile, Liv turned to her boss once more. "Thanks for showing up, Ravi," she said quietly, hugging him once more. "You're the best. Being here with you two really does make it easier, I didn't realize it would until now."

"Well we did," said Ravi simply. "Sleep well Liv, I have a feeling Major will. I haven't seen him this happy in a while. I'm telling you, re-consider the whole secret life thing for both your sakes."

"I can't," she whispered sadly, giving his fingers a grateful squeeze before letting go. "See you in the morning."

She caught Ravi shaking his head fondly as he slipped into his own room across the hall. His belief that everything was as simple as being honest was admirable, but Liv knew better. Feeling drained with the effort it took to pretend she was fine; she joined Major in his bedroom with a sigh. Her ex had pulled back the covers already and was sitting on the bed waiting for her. "We forgot to swing by your place for a nightdress," he pointed out and handed her a loose-fitting shirt of his. "You always did like this one."

"Yeah," she agreed, accepting the shirt gratefully. "I'm surprised you remember."

"I remember everything," Major told her and though there was nothing accusing in his tone, she couldn't help but feel another stab of guilt. He looked away while she changed and Liv was grateful, for she suddenly felt the intense heartbreak of the day catching up with her. Once she was dressed, Liv crawled into bed beside him and rolled over to avoid seeing the overwhelming affection in Major's eyes. Her eyes fell shut, heavy with all the tragedy they had seen that day alone but she was still aware of his hand pressing against her back and sliding up and down, warm and gentle. "Is that still the spot?" he asked and she nodded slightly. "I don't have to be psychic to understand you, Liv. I'm just sorry this whole mental breakdown is a thing now when you need me the most."

"I'll be okay," she said, the lie sounding hollow even to her own ears. "You do what you need to do. For right now, the spot is really good."

"Glad I can still do something right," he said. "You know I'd be here if I could, right? You're my best friend, whatever else went down."

"I know," Liv told him, the words muffled now because her hand had to press over her mouth to keep a sob from escaping. "You're mine, too." As if sensing she couldn't take anymore, one of Major's hands kept stroking her spine in silence. Eventually Liv drifted into a dreamless sleep, feeling more safe and loved than she had in months. In the last six months her life had been turned upside down, but it was moments like this that let her believe for short spells that maybe things would get better one day.

 **A/N My first iZombie fic, yay! I honestly love the dynamic between these three so much, BROT3 defined. Enjoy everyone xx**


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